Beginnings and endings are linked in a lot of ways…
…so much so that I can't tell where my writing fears begin or where they end. Anyone else?
July Theme: Creative Courage
Big Question: What does it take to begin, risk, and share what you create?
Week 1: Beginning Before You Feel Ready
What I wrote below is based on the following reflective writing prompt included in Saturday’s Beginning Before You Feel Ready: Writing Prompts post.
Prompt: What fears appear when you think about starting something new?
Why did I choose it?
I chose this prompt because I usually have the opposite problem. Or at least I think it’s the opposite problem.
I don’t have many fears when I first think about starting something new. I actually love starting new things. I have so many ideas, too many ideas, and want to start them all! And I’m not usually afraid or hesitant to get started.
BUT I do have serious fears that start to creep in right after I start something new, regarding where it’s headed and how I feel about it… so I wanted to explore the ideas and concerns this question raises for me personally because I’m not sure if what I experience is the same thing or not. And whether I’m alone?
My Response
Like many other writers, I keep notes for ideas to write about everywhere. I have dozens of documents full of outlines and lists in my reMarkable paper tablet. I might also be approaching the max number of KeepIt Notes I can have in Google.
And I have sticky notes all over my desk full of reminders and notes for ideas to work on at some point. Ideas that I will absolutely work on, as soon as I can prioritize them all on my spreadsheet and editorial calendar, because I try to stay as organized as possible, and because I do think that they’re all worth writing about at some point.
Which is probably part of the reason why I’m never afraid of starting new writing projects— I always have a deep well of ideas to pull from, most of which come directly from reflections and observations about what I read, write, and experience.
The other part of the reason?
I wholeheartedly agree with something Sylvia Plath wrote in her Unabridged Journals:
“And by the way, everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise. The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt.”
However, all the ideas and ‘outgoing guts’ I can muster any time I begin something new don’t prevent me from thinking, at some point, that I can always improve the thing I started and make it better or more nuanced and beautiful or resonant somehow. Honestly, the options always seem endless.
But I’m still unsure whether those tendencies to continually improve things I start are legitimate fears linked to perfectionism. Or if they’re due to the best and worst writing advice I ever received when I was in high school. Or if they’re tied to my analytical collegiate experiences, which proved time and time again that there was always another angle or way of looking at something or creating something, and so much more to read about that something. So, so, so, so much more to read. I mean, libraries exist and continue to expand for a reason, don’t they?
Not to mention that scholars are still evaluating and offering new applications for ancient and older works, like those of Aristotle and Shakespeare… which is all to say that there’s serious evidence indicating that regardless of what is written, there can always be, and arguably should always be, edits and addendums made to it.
Yes, I realize that I am not creating works exactly analogous to those of Aristotle or Shakespeare. Yet the main concern I am currently uncovering holds: How do I know when a new project I’m working on is no longer new but coming to an end? And how do I know how to ‘end’ it?
Perhaps what I fear, in other words, isn’t tied to beginning something new, but knowing when to end it.
Beginnings and endings are linked in a lot of ways, however, as the culmination of one nearly always insinuates the birth of the other. You usually cannot have a beginning without an ending of some sort, and vice versa— at least, not if we’re thinking dialectically.
So, if I have concerns linked to endings, does that mean I have fears linked to beginnings, as well?
Maybe. Because I do find it difficult to move on to the next beginning when I haven’t ended what I’m currently working on, when it comes to my novel projects anyway.
I have no fears about ending these Daily Drafts & Dialogues posts or worry that there’s more I could add to or revise in them, because I primarily see them and approach them as drafts, as mini works that are a part of an ongoing dialogue and body of work.
But should I apply that same approach to the novel I’ve been working on for years? Will that help me stop trying to incessantly improve and revise it? Part of me thinks, yes, of course I should perceive my novel as part of a broader conversation of books and writing, which includes my own body of work. But part of me is still uncertain …
Don’t get me wrong, I’ll keep working on my novel. But how will I know when working on it has come to an end, so that I can begin the next new project? Because I have no shortage of ideas in my queue ready to go.
I know I haven’t really ‘solved’ anything today, but maybe we could talk about this and reflect on it a bit more together?
Do you prefer ending existing projects before beginning new ones?
If you can relate to this, leave a comment, join one of our ongoing chats by clicking on an image below, or send me a message.
I would love to learn more about what you think about how beginnings and endings are linked, and what you’re currently working on or trying to figure out.
This week we’re talking about beginnings and creative courage. Join us for more nuanced conversations in the chats. Whether you join to share your responses, ask questions, or connect with other writers and support their work, we look forward to your contributions as we continue to explore creative courage this month! And don’t forget to share this post with your network so others can join this dialogue too.
Continue Exploring July’s Creative Courage Theme
ICYMI—>This week’s Posts: Beginning Before You Feel Ready
Beginning Before You Feel Ready: Writing Prompts
Do writers need to feel ready before they begin a new project?
Consider going more in depth with this month’s theme with July’s Creative Courage Writing Collection.
This writing collection is designed to help you explore creative courage from different angles: discovering your voice, strengthening your craft, experimenting with new approaches, and reflecting on the writer you are becoming.
The free Dialogues posts and Drafts writing prompts posts that will be published every Saturday this month will explore the outward side of creative courage—beginning, risking, and sharing— and should complement this collection quite well, which invites you to go much deeper into the internal work of creativity with 30 guided writing prompts and craft exercises, reflections, as well as three options for guided monthly writing challenges for those who want to go even further than that.