Hot Take: We Shouldn’t Give Gifts During the Holidays
I’m not trying to be a grinch, I promise. I just don't like what gift-giving during the holidays has morphed into, and what it can imply…
Gift-giving during the holidays has, unfortunately, become nothing more than a status symbol in the past hundred years or so thanks to marketing efforts wielded by major brands.
Coca-Cola made Santa a major player in holiday storytelling and marketing in the early 1930s. Starbucks made everyone go crazy with their red cups and holiday-inspired beverages in the late 1990s, and every decade since. Google products began appealing more to families with children who wanted to track Santa the night before Christmas, along with the gifts Santa was supposedly bringing them. And large department stores like Macy’s are celebrated this time of year for their spectacular holiday displays and parades.
We also can’t forget the annual holiday commercials with husbands buying their surprised wives brand new cars covered in snow and giant red bows… because that’s completely normal and optional for most people during the holidays, obviously. (Insert eye roll here.)
I could list dozens of additional examples of how brands use ads to commodify our holiday spirit and split us into haves and have-nots at all ages. Seriously, don’t get me started on what this commodified storytelling has done to children and how they’re conditioned from a young age to expect presents and expensive objects during the holidays as status symbols that tell them whether not they are worthy enough in their spheres of influence.
Holiday gift-giving orients kids of all ages toward how they should perceive themselves and their own families, and often dictates who they will and will not be able to play with (especially if they aren’t gifted the coolest and most popular toy), as well as who will likely find them cool enough to hang out with or poor and unworthy enough to ridicule.
I’m sure most people are painfully aware this is happening, too… though so many will still stretch their bank accounts every year to buy things they can’t afford, or even want, for others who don’t really want what they end up getting anyway. Why? Well, that’s my point.
Why do we buy so much stuff for others, even when they probably won’t like or appreciate most of the things they’re gifted anyway? At least, not long-term.
Truly, most of what people really want for the holidays is either something they actually need like money, a vehicle, or housing (which shouldn’t be gifted during the holidays but available and accessible year-round anyway); or things that are priceless like affection, love, community, family, and safety (which some try to symbolize or replace with material gifts like jewelry and electronics).
Deep down, I don’t think people want to be gifted with things, temporary objects, during the holidays. Instead, they want what those objects represent, or their commodified stories. They want the security and assurance certain gifts have come to represent, which have become commingled with status.
If you are wealthy, you already have everything you need, as far as material possessions are concerned anyway, but might be lacking other priceless things. And only those without money and status are ‘gifted’ food and housing and clothing during the holidays, which is preposterous and gross, as those things should never be seen as gifts to dole out only once a year but as basic needs everyone must have year-round in order to be safe and secure as they exist in the world.
In addition to gift-giving commodifying the holiday spirit (or the more generous side of the human spirit) it perpetuates the idea that being there for others (especially strangers and those who don’t have their basic needs met on a regular basis) is something special, something that can only happen once a year— and that it has a price tag on it.
All-in-all, I suppose what I am going on and on about is that gift-giving during the holidays only signifies status in a way that makes people miserable or detached from what matters, as it was spearheaded by companies that only wanted to grow their profit margins. And it’s ultimately redundant for those who have everything they need, whether those needs are emotional (affection and love) or material (food, housing, clothing).
In closing this brief essay/rant, I should note that gift-giving in general can be a good thing, I think, though I will need to sit on gift-giving as a concept, as I do believe that gift-giving might ultimately embody a power dynamic between people which doesn’t really lead to equal footing or standing between them in the long-run. Perhaps I can examine that more thoroughly some other time, though…
In the meantime, it is gift-giving during the holidays I especially take issue with, as affection and basic material needs should be available throughout the year for all, and should not be relegated or emphasized primarily during the holidays. We should ensure everyone is cared for and able to live securely, always, not just when Santa comes to town, because if those needs are met, why are we gifting people things they don’t need, and probably don’t even want, unless they care more about their status and commodified storytelling than their gifts?
Now forgive me while I step down from my soapbox and go pour myself a glass of eggnog while I hum sugary sweet holiday tunes under my breath…
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