Valuable Lessons I Learned from Gilmore Girls
Gilmore Girls is full of valuable writing lessons, as well as valuable life lessons, which might be why it’s remained so popular, even though its pilot aired twenty-five years ago.
Below are a few key lessons I learned from watching Gilmore Girls.
Engaging, Witty, Vulnerable Dialogue is Key
Engaging, witty, vulnerable dialogue is key to writing great fictional scenes with complex characters. It’s also key to developing engaging and rewarding relationships in real life.
The dialogue in Gilmore Girls wouldn’t be as hilarious and entertaining as it is if Lorelai and Rory were overly concerned with being wrong or weird with each other, or others. Sure, they regret the things they say sometimes, but their fast-paced banter keeps them interesting, the things they’re doing engaging, and allows them to be vulnerable with others.
Fictional characters who are witty are more vulnerable and more entertaining to follow. Audiences like judging them and rooting for them at the same time, like they would a close friend or loved one. Audiences also tend to find them endearing and more relatable, as well, especially when they stumble over their words and get awkward.
Similarly, when you’re unafraid of appearing weird and vulnerable to others in real life, you will engage in more witty and vulnerable dialogue that will make relating to others much easier and more enjoyable. A good friend is someone with whom you can be your weirdest and most authentic self without mincing words, no?
Complex Relationships and Characters Should Always Evolve
Many relationships evolve over the course of the entire Gilmore Girls series. Rory’s relationships with Paris and Lane and Dean and Jess and Logan evolve over the course of the series, as they all grow into adults. Lorelai’s relationships with Emily and Rory evolve over the course of the series, as well as her relationships with Christopher and Luke. Lorelai and Rory, whose bond is envied by most, even argue and fight from time to time, as mothers and daughters often do. And each one of these relationship evolutions happen because each character is developed in complex ways over time. For example, while Rory tries to be more independent like her mother, she still appreciates the comfort her grandparents’ wealth offers. Meanwhile, Lorelai learns how to rein in her drive to be too independent and rely on and trust others more.
Fictional characters who are more complex, and made complex by the relationships they have with other characters, are more interesting and relatable. Characters who are not multi-dimensional (i.e. a serial killer who helps an old lady across the street) are boring and not worth reading about for long, no matter what they’re doing or where they are.
Similarly, you will also evolve in complex ways based on the relationships you form and nurture in your life, which is why it’s incredibly important to form and nurture the relationships that are best suited for you, the person you want to be, and the life you want to live.
Knowing Your Dreams, And How You Chase Them, Matters
In Gilmore Girls, Rory chases her dream to go to an Ivy League university, ultimately changing her mind about which university she wants to go to at the last minute, illustrating the importance of being flexible and self-aware when chasing a long-held dream. At the same time, we see Paris distraught over not getting into Harvard because she is unwilling to be flexible with her collegiate dreams and future, at first. We also see how Lorelai works with and relies on others in Stars Hollow to help her and Sookie follow their dream of opening the Dragonfly Inn, illustrating the need to rely on others when dream chasing. We then see Lane follow her dream of being a rockstar in unexpected ways, especially when she relies on her super-religious mother to land gigs for her and her very non-religious band at churches across the country. We see Jess fall into his potentially unrealized dream of working in the publishing industry, as reading was his natural addiction. We see Dean follow his dream of having a family and simple life, which wasn’t compatible with Rory’s dream. And we see Logan remain untethered to anything or anyone because he doesn’t really have a dream of his own, outside what his family wants him to do…
Essentially, fictional characters with dreams or goals, who have complex relationships with those dreams and goals, are interesting and compelling to follow. Audiences want to root for people chasing their dreams, and making mistakes and changes along the way. And you will be compelling too, if you stay true to who you are and your dreams, while learning how to follow those dreams in flexible, encouraging, and unexpected ways along the way.
Mixing Literary References with Pop Culture References Always Works
Gilmore Girls is full of relevant, funny, quirky, and endearing pop culture references that make characters and scenes more relatable and nostalgic. From memorable film quotes to punk rock lyrics to Bop It! toys to scenes full of trendy clothing styles, popular celebrities and political figures, Gilmore Girls is full of pop culture figures and references that remind you of a certain time period, allowing the series to remain an iconic representation of the early aughts for much of suburban America.
At the same time, however, the series is full of iconic literary references that will always remain timeless. Rory and Jess read and discuss banned books. Rory and Paris act out scenes from Romeo & Juliet. Rory studies literature in college. Max lends Lorelai his copy of Swann’s Way while Rory bonds over obscure books from history with her grandfather, Richard. And so on. Literary references permeate the series, also holding up its overall timelessness.
Why is this important?
Pop culture references make fiction more relatable and fun, while literary references prevent it from becoming overly silly and meaningless. Pop culture references prevent stories from becoming inaccessible and boring, therefore unlikely to be timeless, while literary references offer them an aura of timelessness and meaning to audiences of all ages and interests. Mixing up genres and topics and time periods is what real people in the real world do with their reading materials and media consumption, especially multi-generational audiences. And doing this always works, if you want to hold the attention of various audiences over decades, even centuries— just consider Shakespeare’s and Jane Austen’s works for a moment.
I never realized I naturally read like Rory Gilmore until I took a look at Rory Gilmore’s reading list — which covers a lot of topics and interests. I highly recommend it!
A Scenic Backdrop Never Hurts
Most of the Gilmore Girls series takes place in the fictional yet scenic Northeastern small town of Stars Hollow, and takes place during the autumn and winter months when school is in session. Other routine settings in the series include the opulent Gilmore residence, NYC, and the Yale campus. Each scene transports you to a place you want to be most of the time.
Transporting your audience to a scenic place that is instantly comfortable and quirky yet familiar, is a great way to earn loyal readers over the long haul. It’s also a great way to spend your own life, no? I mean, who wouldn’t want to live in Stars Hollow, at least during autumn?
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